Millennium Gold 2000/Millennium Gold 2000 - Disc 1.iso/CARDSM41/MORECARD.TXT

Text File | 1996-10-25 | 8KB | 201 lines

In case youÆre wondering about the additional cards that
are included in the Barking Cards 96 CD-ROM, below are
descriptions of all the cards on the CD-ROM.    The cards
range the scale from cute and politically correct to very
wacky.


Birthday


Wishing Well
A kooky character stands at a wishing well.  He tosses a
coin at the well, but it bounces harmlessly in the grass.
In his second attempt a bird swoops down from the sky to
grab the coin. Finally he reaches into his pocket for his
foolproof credit card, tosses it in the well and a flaming
birthday cake pops out.

Balloon Man Birthday
Reginald is happily pumping up a sign that reads "Happy
Birthday".  A mischievous cat appears and sticks the pump
cord into the his trousers instead.  Reginald continues to
inflate himself and floats off into the sunset in a Monty
Pythonesque manner and the verse appears.  Punchline: Here's
a little advice...Don't let a little old birthday get you
blown out of proportion!

BoyÆs Basketball Wish
As a boy sits patiently at a table, a caption appears, "Hoping
your birthday wishes come true".  A thought bubble appears with
him at the foul line with 1 second left in a basketball game.
He successfully tosses in the winning free throw which is his
birthday wish.

Girl's Mall Wish
As a girl sits patiently at a table, a caption appears, "Hoping
your birthday wishes come true".  A thought bubble appears with
her standing in front of a giant mall as she pulls out a handful
of cold, green cash which is her birthday wish

Dentist
A boy is sitting in a dentist's chair for an examination.  A message
flashes "It could be worse...".  The dentist proceeds through the
examination discarding wacky equipment such as a hatchet and pliers.
This scene ends  with the dentist feverishly drilling while the boy
squirms in pain and the punchline is revealed "you could be having
a birthday AND a root canal".  Finally the  scene changes and "Happy
Birthday" has been carved in the boys teeth

Candles
Two crazy characters resort to a candle machine gun to fill a cake with
far too many candles.   Then the cake is appropriately ignited with a
flame thrower. Punchline: Is this what they meant by...1000 points of
light?

Clinton and Fast Food
 A scene shows the secret service staking out a Mega Burger fast food
establishment.  Inside, Bill Clinton is eating his fair share of
hamburgers and fries.  In between Mega Bites he manages to convey
his Birthday message which is to give you a 21 bin salute.

Birthday Striptease (for a man)
Raucous music plays as the delectable Lolita proceeds to disrobe in a
very sexy manner.   As she is poised for to take off that final strip
of clothing, a Windows like message appears stating, "Your hard disk
has been corrupted...Try again later"

Birthday Striptease (for a Woman)
Raucous music plays as a sexy construction working hunk proceeds to
disrobe in a very provocative manner.   As he is poised for the final
action of  unzipping his skin tight jeans a Windows like message
appears stating, "Your equipment has overheated...Try again later"

Morbid Birthday
The card is a wacky, Generation X card.  A ghoulish group is gathered
around a table as the birthday character is celebrating his birthday
haul.   The screen reads: "Enjoy your newly acquired materialistic
possessions now..."    Suddenly the shadow of the grim reaper and
the punchline "for inevitably...YouÆre going to die"

SuperComputer (Belated Birthday)
A mainframe computer geek is asleep on the job.  Suddenly a major
error occurs and he leaps into action to save the day.  After trying
various moves a catastrophe is averted.   Punchline:  "Sorry I missed
your birthday...I guess I need to upgrade my memory"


Holiday


Elephant on a roof
An elephant climbs a ladder and stumbles onto a roof.    He gets back
to his feet and plugs in a sign that is sitting atop the roof.
The sign flickers until he gives it a healthy whack and a  "Happy
Holidays" message is illuminated

Elephant sneeze
An elephant is trimming a Christmas tree.   Suddenly he sneezes
and the entire tree is blown away.  The tree is miraculously restored
and the message appears "Enjoy the Magic of the Holiday Season".


Romance and Friendship


Can't get you outta my mind
For the woman in your life:  A man's face appears on screen with a
beautiful woman inside his eyes.  She strolls playfully through his
head and then recites "He loves me, He loves me not" as she picks
petals off a flower.  She blows a final kiss to the viewer and the
punchline "I canÆt get you outta my mind" appears.

Call Me
A woman is standing before a box.  She sarcastically says, "It
doesn't bother me at all that you don't call", reaches into the box
and pulls out a monster.   As the monster snarls and drools, she
mild-manneredly says "I just know that you'll love this...Wish I was
there to see the look on your face."

Princess and the Frogs
A beautiful princess floats onto the screen.  As a frog jumps by,
she gets a wonderful idea.  She proceeds to catch frogs in the air
and kisses them to try to find her prince.  Finally a frog turns into
prince.  Punchline:  "I'm so glad I didn't toss you back!" or "Thanks
for turning out to be my prince"

Romance in the Art Gallery
A woman wanders through a funky art gallery to the sounds of bohemian
background music.  She stops before a painting of a man at a table as
the painting comes to life.  A hand extends from the painting and
invites her in.  She steps into the painting to join her magical mate
for a drink.  Punchline: "Thanks for bringing magic into my life!"


Thank You


Bug Thank You
An annoying bug dances on stage singing "Thank you, thank you, thank
you".  A classic hook grabs him, drags him off stage. Punchline: "I
didn't mean to bug you but I wanted to say THANKS!"

Lifesaver
A man in a life raft is floating in the ocean when sharks begin
circling the raft (with ominous music playing in the background).
Just as it looks like curtains for our hero, a submarine lifts the
raft out of the ocean, saves the day.  Punchline:  "Thanks for being
 there when I need you"

Mime Thank you
A mime moonwalks onto the screen to sweet piano music in the
background.  He turns, produces a bouquet of flowers and tosses them
to the viewer.  The scenes changes to reveal the verse "Words were
just not enough to say thanks!" amidst a shower of soft petals falling
to the ground


Congratulations


Devil of a Job
The view is of a boss on the other side of a desk with a message
"Congratulations on your new job".  He hands you a piece of paper
marked "Contract of Employment".  After you sign it  he suddenly turns
into a devil with an appropriately evil laugh

Janitor
A janitor is dutifully plunging a toilet in a public restroom.  His
partner appears and hands him a mop instead.  The janitor smiles ear
to ear.   Punchline: "Congratulations on your new job" or
"Congratulations on your new promotio".

Mime Baby (congratulations on a new baby)
A cute mime climbs down an imaginary rope into an infants bedroom.
He rocks an imaginary baby in his arms. A box then magically opens
and out pops bottles, rattles and diapers.  The last diaper opens on
screen with the verse,  "Words cannot express our happiness on your
new arrival"


Invitations


Pears
A number of cute pears run, jump, slide and just appear on screen.
You add your party invitation in the middle of the screen, for instance
"Come to the New YearÆs Party".  After the screen is filled with pears,
a small plane flys by with a banner that reads "HowÆs that for Pear
Pressure"

Robot
A cute CyberRobot walks on screen amidst a surrealistic 25th century
background.  The robot drags a small machine to center stage.  He
proceeds to enter a spaceship which blasts off the screen.
Then the small machine blasts off, expands to fill the screen and your
invitation appears on the futuristic billboard.